After you’ve been hurt, trust can feel like a risk you’re not ready to take.
You want connection — but the thought of being open again feels dangerous.
You might wonder:
“What if I misjudge someone again?”
“What if it ends the same way?”
“What if I lose myself trying to make it work?”
These fears are natural. They’re not a sign that you’re broken — they’re a sign that you’ve learned.
The goal isn’t to erase your fear of trust — it’s to build trust slowly, with wisdom and intention.
Step 1: Understand What Your Fear Is Protecting
Fear of trust is really a fear of pain.
It’s your nervous system saying, “I don’t ever want to feel that again.”
Instead of fighting that fear, thank it. It’s been working overtime to keep you safe.
Then gently remind it that you now have tools, awareness, and boundaries that you didn’t before.
You’re not the same person who got hurt — you’re wiser, steadier, and stronger.
Step 2: Redefine What Trust Means
Trust doesn’t mean blind faith. It doesn’t mean giving someone full access to your heart straight away.
Real trust means observing patterns, not promises.
It’s earned slowly, through consistency over time:
- Do they do what they say?
- Do they respect your boundaries?
- Can they handle conflict without cruelty?
You don’t “decide” to trust — you allow it to grow through observation.
Step 3: Start by Trusting Yourself
The first bridge you rebuild is internal.
You can’t fully trust others until you trust your own judgement again.
Each time you listen to your intuition, set a boundary, or honour your needs, you’re reinforcing that trust.
Try this reflection:
“What choices am I proud of lately?”
“Where have I protected my peace?”
The more you trust yourself, the less you fear others.
Step 4: Take Tiny Risks With Safe People
Trust grows through small, manageable acts — not leaps of faith.
Practise with people who’ve earned your confidence:
- Share a personal story with a trusted friend.
- Ask for help when you’d normally stay silent.
- Allow someone to show up for you — and notice how it feels.
Each time you let yourself be seen, you teach your nervous system that vulnerability can be safe again.
Step 5: Give It Time
Healing isn’t about speed; it’s about sincerity.
You don’t have to “get over” mistrust — you just have to move through it with awareness.
Let your next relationship — whether friendship, family, or romance — unfold naturally.
You’ll know it’s right when it feels peaceful, not performative.
When You Need Support
Rebuilding trust is one of the most courageous parts of healing.
At Relationship Matters, we help you reconnect with yourself — and others — with calm confidence:
- 1:1 Coaching — to help you rebuild trust, set boundaries, and create emotionally safe relationships.
- Group Coaching — for shared connection, accountability, and encouragement from others who understand.
- Self-Guided Courses — reflection tools and confidence exercises based on our RESET to RISE™ framework, designed to help you trust yourself and others again at your own pace.
Because trust isn’t lost forever — it’s relearned through conscious care.
Next Step
If you’re ready to feel open again but don’t want to repeat old patterns, we can help you rebuild trust with confidence and care.
Visit www.relationshipmatters.co to explore 1:1 Coaching, Group Coaching, and our Separation Survival Series — compassionate, practical support for moving forward with trust and self-assurance.
You don’t have to rush into trust — you just have to make space for it to return.